At the beginning of a brand new year, what better time to decide what we need to “Let Go”.  We often carry so much unnecessary baggage with us and I thought we could review some of the mental and emotional weeds of dysfunctional and unhelpful beliefs that bog us down.  What are these emotional and mental weeds?

Let’s start with a weed that can mimic a beautiful flower – a quality that many of us strive to display – called “being nice”!  Believe it or not, “being nice”, in other words being “overnice” is not all it’s cracked up to be!

Being nice at all costs does not make relationships easier, does not guarantee the approval of others nor improve the quality of life. On the contrary, being too nice can set oneself up for being taken advantage of, disrespected and even abused.  Niceness can cause confusion in relationships because we might suppress our true feelings and thus become inauthentic. Worst of all, “being nice” at all costs can cause a disconnect with oneself in that we lose touch with what we really think and feel.  Niceness can stand in the way of personal satisfaction and healthy relating.  Niceness means giving up honesty in relationships because our fear of judgment or disapproval overshadows our need to be honest.

Interesting!  What else can we “let go”?

The following is an article I saved onto my computer without noting the source!  So just know that the following section is not my “wisdom” – but ties in with this article!

“Letting Go . . .

Unknown author

  • “To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
  • To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
  • To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
  • To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
  • To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
  • To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
  • To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
  • To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
  • To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
  • To “let go” is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
  • To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.
  • To “let go” it not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.
  • To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
  • To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.
  • To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
  • To “let go” is to fear less, and love more.”

What wonderful motivation to let go of what does not serve us well!  Yes – letting go is liberating!

Stella Heuer

BA (HSSS) – Specialization in Psychological Counselling

Registered member of COMENSA

Training Facilitator

Assessor HW SETA


Cell : +27 (0) 82 411 5002